A thought of some sorts

Blogs. blogs. blogs.

Although I have a lot of ideas of things I want to do while I'm here, related to studying and thinking and creating, I have been so very busy with everything lately.

Due to some flukes with auditioning and alcohol, I was accidentally cast as one of the lead roles in a play being put on by some foreigners in Gwangju.  Acting has become my life in a very major way for the last several months.  The first couple of months, I panicked nearly every day about it.  Somehow, getting in front of a room full of people and pretending to be someone I'm not, is my idea of a perfect nightmare.  However, I put myself into this position willingly.  Forcefully.  Secretly, being in a play is something I was always curious about.  I always wondered about the process.  So I saw my opportunity and jumped.  And for a while now, I've been putting myself into situations that make me uncomfortable.  You know, pushing yourself a little further than what you're comfortable with. Growth is inevitable.

So, here I am.  A few months deep into a Steve Martin production titled, "Picasso at the Lapin Agile."  It's actually a pretty funny play and Steve Martin is secretly one of the coolest guys to have ever lived, apparently.  The last few weeks, I have turned a corner, I do believe.  I have reached "comfortable on stage" and have begun to "act".  Which is quite a massive improvement.

I've spent a lot of time with these people and it has been a good time.  And I'm counting down the days left of rehearsals, to when I have my freedom again, to do what it is I came here to do.

Not that it's not what I came here to do.  Challenging myself is an ever present aspect of my life, I suppose.

Besides for that, I also felt that I've reached an important point in my time here in Korea.  I've left my life in the States, stopped hanging on to it, and have embraced my life in Korea.  It's a good switch, and it needed to happen.  And I didn't even realize that I was doing it until I gave it up.

I used to live on the top floor of an abandoned 4 story school.  Now, I live on the top floor of a half abandoned school.  In the last couple of months, a small hagwon has opened on the second floor.  Since then, I have come to know the owner of the school, Mr. Kong, and his main teacher, Alice, pretty well.  Mr. Kong has been very open about his intentions to take care of me while in Korea.  That it is only natural that he treat me as his daughter.  That my parents would be happy to know that I'm being looked after.  He feeds me wonderful meals and invites me to celebrate in his successes and Mr. Kong, Alice and I often enjoy being outside the school, barbecuing samgyeopsal, wrapping the meat in fresh lettuce from the country side ("no pesticides" he is proud to share), dipping some bean sauce on it, while sipping the soju.

I retreated up to my room on the 4th floor, when I got a knock on my door about 10 minutes after I left the party.  It was Alice, with some tteok (떡), or Korean rice cake, in hand.  She wanted to give it to me.  She said, before I met you, I didn't think I liked Americans very much.  I didn't think about them much.  But you have been very kind and you listen to me and Mr. Kang.  I want you to have this.

And then I thought, yes.  This is one of the main reasons I am here.  To create relationships with other humans, to prove to everyone that we are just human after all, right?  To break down stereotypes, one genuine conversation at a time.  I adore Alice. and Mr. Kang and am forever grateful for everything they've done to help me here in Korea.

I think this is a really important thing to remember.  That when it comes down to it, human relationships are one of the only things that exists beyond...exists beyond...............you know.